Looking Glass
by Swissalo
Summary: She was a soldier looking for a break in her monotonous life, what she got in return was something not even she could have foreseen. -Prequel to BoS- mainly LotR-SM
1. Walk Away

Looking Glass

**Chapter 1, Walk Away**

**By : **SilverRose82

It's the Prequel to **A Bed of Stars**, with this tale we learn how Cosmos came to know and love all that she knew in **A Bed of Stars**, I do recommend reading **A Bed of Stars **first. **_It is not necessary to understand this story but it would help make better sense if it was read first._** ~~~ That was a lie it seems. Reading at least the last four chapters of **A Bed of Stars** will help you understand this story.

~*~

            It was a time on unrelenting peace, not for certain lands and galaxies but for Cosmos, the eternal guardian of the stars, it was peace. For now the dangerous wars that were raging on in the galaxy that had once been her home, would wait, having helped a proud race get relocated before the destruction of their planet had taxed her powers as a whole. Her body needed to gain back the magick it had lost, her sister-child Fëa guarded the doorsteps to the Cauldron allowing no creature to pass into the creation of the stars.

            It had been many years since the tired soldier had stepped upon the lands of the Sol Galaxy; most of her years had been spent trying to stop wars that should not have been caused, stop the eradications of races that were needed in the future, and just protecting innocence was her life. She remembered when her sister-child, Fëa, had left for the green planet it had been in the early years of new creation. She had spent many years down there while Cosmos guarded the Cauldron with apt attention, nurturing it and staring into the white beyond, remembering her first sacrifice in that very endless room. She still could not believe how her life had changed after that battle had ended.

            She had been forced into a marriage of false destinies, into a meaningless marriage where the only thing she was allowed to do was sit and look pretty while her _husband_ ruled with the sole intent of power. She had sat on the sidelines as he banished the same people they had fought years ago trying to save a dying utopia, a utopia that would never be because its rulers did not love one another and bickered and fought more than they solved anything. She had stared into the eyes of their soon to be opponents, trying to relay to them that this was not of her choosing and she had not power to stop him. In reality she did but the planet was not hers, she was a Lunarian not a Terran it was a marriage out of alliance rather than love.

            Sighing Cosmos shook her head, silver strands fell around her prone form as she gazed out into the black abyss of space where stars were the only companions she had. Well, that would have been a lie; the silver soldier had many companions along the years when she had been battling Chaos or some other force that could try an bring back Chaos. She may have made friends among many peoples and creatures on her journey but none of them filled the dull need that was in her heart. With all her friends and acquaintances throughout the years and decades, Cosmos still felt that she was missing something, something of great importance to her life.

            Turning her thought back onto her sister-child, Cosmos remembered when she had first been given the child by Destiny, the woman had told her nothing more than this child was the balance between light and dark, good and bad, Chaos and Cosmos. Cosmos had come to her own conclusions after Destiny had left, but she had cared for the child as if she were her own, and while she very well could have been, she was not. There were no qualms on who the child was the reincarnation of but this time the said child was nothing more than a balance between her mother and father, she allowed neither of them to gain more power, in turn tipping the balance of life. Cosmos had relished in raising the child, the brightness that a child brought to the Cosmos Palace left the guardian in high spirits, all until the child grew up.

            When Fëa had grown to the age of power, she had taken her place at an eternal guardian to the Cauldron. No one, not even the upper Gods, denied that Cosmos was the supreme ruler of all she guarded, only one other was more powerful than even the legendary Soldier of the Cosmos and that was Harmony. Harmony was the only being that could kill Cosmos; no other creature had the power to destroy the star seed that resided in Cosmos' heart. But they knew that nothing would make Harmony take such actions against the silver soldier, Cosmos was needed to keep the balance from tipping into the favor of Chaos.

            But the powerful heart of Cosmos was weaving and wavering as she continued to guard a peaceful galaxy once again. Her heart was pulling towards the planet that even Fëa had come back from as a changed woman, her sister-child had grown up greatly during her years in the Sol Galaxy. She had found love in a great man, a Valar, she had said he was and to him she bore him two children, Galadriel and Finrod Felagund. There she had been when the first evils of Ennorath had come into play, when Cosmos had conquered the beast known as Chaos and had separated his powers into small manageable sections of which she sent to different galaxies, planets, dimensions. She would not allow Chaos to come back and try to kill her for a third time, and even if it did come back it would be a many great years. She had worried though, about Ennorath when she has sent the banished parts of Chaos when two pieces of the creature had gone into that planet. One she had known was kept within a mountain hold while the other had disappeared into the heart of a single man. A man that Cosmos did not think she would have to worry about.

            She had been wrong about that, she should have worried and she should have gone to Ennorath at that moment to recapture the part of Chaos and send it to another location. But her battle had left her drained to a point of unconsciousness, where her main need and goal was to regain her strength. However, by the time she had the power the second Chaos part had dimmed and she thought nothing more of it. She knew that the Chaos part had picked its holder and would die with that holder, rather a rebirth happened was if Cosmos and the Gods of Otherworld deemed the soul safe of corruption and sin.

            The once soft tug at her heart because of the problems on Ennorath became stronger as a dark entity once again reared its ugly head. Snapping her neck around in the direction where the Sol Galaxy was Cosmos stood up, her star staff in her hands, her fatigue forgotten as she realized the power, a power that she thought had fallen but in reality had only lay dormant. Waving her staff before her the center of the silver eight-point star glowed a deep burgundy as a portal opened before her. She was not one for using this sort of power to get from place to place, while it demanded less power than a transport, it was eerie traveling through portals.

            Looking around her dreary Palace once more she took a deep breath as she prepared to use the timestream as her means of getting to Ennorath or in common tongue Middle Earth. Shaking her head the powerful soldier stepped through the swirling mass that was her portal to Ennorath, to the planet that she had once lived on and protected. But she knew that the planet no longer had the technologies that it had once had, the earth had started over again with new life and new dangers. Dangers Cosmos hoped to eradicate, hoped to destroy without injuring others in the process, she had known many who had willing jumped before blasts meant for her because they thought she would be killed. Taking one last glance she stepped through the portal, not knowing that her life would be forever changed by this visit. 

~*~

**Disclaimer :  **While in **A Bed of Stars** I only owned three characters, Lantaranar, Belthil, and Brethil, in this story I still own Lantaranar, and any other characters that make their appearances later on in the story. However, I do not own Tolkien's work, I don't believe Tolkien wrote much of the Second Age, aside of when Bilbo and the dwarves left for the Misty Mountains, if he did will someone please direct me towards that book(s). I also do not own any other ideas that do pop into Cosmos' thought, about battles she fought in or leaves to fight in, planets she has saved, creatures she destroyed. A lot has happened in her lifetime.

Hmm, I did say that I was going to close this Galaxy and work on other stories of mine; however, this story line has been in my head ever since forever you could say. I don't know how many chapters are going to be in this story; I'm shooting for something in the teens. If I keep up with this. I'm going away for the weekend my cousin is getting married on the 30th so I may work on more chapters during the ten hours of driving time that will be taking place to get there.

**9/3 **I have found the book **Unfinished Tales** and I have to go fine some others, but I am finding out information about the second age and the elves. 

Tell me if you like it or if I should burn it like some of my other stories.

Review, Thanks, and Goodnight : 

~*~ SilverRose82 ~*~


	2. Split into a Thousand Pieces

Looking Glass 

**Chapter 2, Split into a Thousand Pieces**

**By**: SilverRose82

**Callisto Star** : I make some of the craziest mistakes, but I some how find it humorous. Eh, I got a hold of the Unfinished Tales, I'll probably have to go out and buy Morgoth's Ring on Elfish cultures and all that other jazz. I don't know. I'm going to enjoy this clean slate to write on, if I continue, times so short with all these College classes and senior class meetings.

**hiyayaka** : umm, yeah. Didn't read BoS did ya?

**Silverpaws the silver Nukachu **

**Anonymous**

~*~

            Cosmos stared out into the blankness of the world around her, her eyes wondered as she took in the sight of magnificent moss covered tree trunks and the steel paleness of the forest fog that swirled around her. Spinning her staff she willed her crystal weapon away as she began to follow the nearly invisible path below her feet. Her whole body ready for any attack or ambush that might occur should she not be alert to the new world around her.

Glaring heavily she smacked away tall greenery and unlucky sapling branches. She had expected life, but the life that she was presented with was not what she had expected, who would expect to appear in a forest in unfamiliar terrain, regardless of the fact that she knew everything that she needed to know about the planet the second her feet touched the forest green moss covered ground. Her silver eyes and hair blended into the fog around has as she gazed off into the darkness of the forest shadows. Her eyes picked up the faint scurrying of creatures, what sort of creature she was unable to detect but something about those creatures made her want to hurry. Even though she knew that the forest she was walking through was safe of evils it did not mean that she was safe of native creatures.

            Shaking her head the silver soldier of the Cosmos stared farther into the distance, trying to gather her barring in her new world, everything about this planet, Ennorath threw her off. She froze, the scurrying had vanished, but Cosmos could hear the nearly silent whispers that floated above her, lowering her gaze she tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes as she began to concentrate on the words above her. Turning her head to the other side, she smirked, a smirk that was normally only reserved for her enemies, a smirk that tended to send people shaking when they saw it appear on such a gentle and innocent looking woman.

            Glancing down at her feet, she began to walk again, the whispers followed overhead with every step that she took, however, Cosmos's mind was no longer on those confused whispers. Whispered that were not the trees, for the only trees that could speak were not in this forest and of that she was sure, they were much to close to the evils of this world. Stopping once more, Cosmos looked straight above her, and in the windless canopy she saw movement among the branches. She decided to play with the minds of her stalkers. Walking forward the Silver Soldier vanished suddenly only to appear above the surprised heads of two males. One dressed in garbs of olive green, his chestnut hair shown even in the minuet light that seeped through the dancing upper canopy, his sky blue eyes danced with mirth as he gazed at his companion, a man with muted golded hair and piercing ice blue eyes, his garb was regal in appearance a royal blue with silver stitched embroidery.

            Cosmos smiled slightly at their expressions before she gazed at them unnervingly, her silver eyes shown off the faint sunlight, glittering dangerously before the two of them as she perched on the branch just above them. Neither of the two groups spoke as they waged a silent staring war against each other. Standing up on the sturdy branch Cosmos smirked as the two males began to speak rapidly to one another, a language that was known to Cosmos but not perfectly, it would take her a while to learn all the languages of this world. 

            "Milady, who are you? To disappear from below only to reappear above."  The chestnut youth questioned as he and his companion began their decent from the treetops, Cosmos smiled softly as she watched them before leaping from the branch she had been perched upon to the forest floor below. Landing in a crouched position she rose slowly, only to smile at the two men standing beside the grey roots of the majestic tree.

            "I am Cosmos." She answered her voice only but whispered the words she truly hated to speak, words that were forever to be her mantra in a universe that she guarded but no longer belonged. Pushing stray strands of hair behind her back, she sighed as not a single lock moved it lay against her back falling towards the forest floor, in silver perfection. 

Her so-called perfection had come at a hard price when she had lived on an earth that was near the beginnings of a giant war. A war of machines, gigantic humanoid like machines of great strength and power. Her perfection had caused two children to be born into that war, both would never know their past, both would never know who they truly were because they had been taken from her the moment of their birth. She had watched them, watched them from afar as they went through their horrors and heartaches, she forever wished that she could have taken them from those pains but the life of Cosmos allowed no interference. So she was forced to watch as one became perfect and the other the shadow of death. Her children were all warriors, all of them at some point in their life raised a weapon of sorts against an enemy, some sooner than others. All were orphaned, all left without their memories, all in which she was forced to sit back and watch as their destinies played out before them without her. Without her.

            "A peculiar name, milady, but from the powers you appear to possess maybe not as peculiar as it seems." The chestnut haired man spoke once again. Cosmos turned to gaze at him and his companion, studying them she shook her head, she placed them in their category. Elves, they were one of the races of Middle Earth, one of the superior races with their intelligence and knowledge to communicate with living creatures.

            "Not my name, my title, but pray tell what is you and your companion's name and where am I?" Cosmos spoke softly as she gazed between the two of them waiting for either of them to speak. Closing her eyes for a moment she tuned out the sounds about her and listened to the song of the stars, the mecha war was beginning.

            "I am Lómáldor and this is Thranduil, prince of Greenwood the Great. Milady." Lómáldor spoke his voice no longer held the accusing tones Cosmos had heard hidden beneath his gentleness. Looking at him once more she smiled, smiled truly for once in her long life there was rarely anything that she had to smile about. Being ripped away from her children had made her bitter, even though Chaos would take many years to regroup and counter attack her. His workings still ran rampant throughout the universe and he still could rain pain upon her. He, her other half, her only true soul mate could still torment her, still destroy her even if he had fallen to defeat by her hand. Because a world without Chaos did not exist, and the only such world that did was the dream world of Elysion.

~*~

Was going to start another way, but the only forest by the coast is a dark forest, don't remember the name of it. ::Shrugs::

Hope you enjoyed this chapter sorry for the long delay. Have no reason for it other than I don't have as many liberal teachers as I did last year that would let me write during class as long as I paid attention to the goings on and could answer stuff when asked. And I'm not as sure about what I want to do with this anymore, I was really hyped about writing about this before BoS ended but after that it kind of went down hill.

**UPDATE: **After this chapter Looking Glass and all my other SM/LotR stories will be coming to a halt. The lack of response is finally catching up to me and when I put in a lot of time and effort into these stories and no one reviews it really damps a person's spirit. It'll take a hell of a lot of something to get me to update these stories again.

Review, Thanks, and Goodnight : 

~*♥*~ SilverRose82 ~*♥*~


	3. I lay down my Life to you

Looking Glass 

**Chapter 3, I lay down my Life to you**

**By** : SilverRose82

A.N. Looking Glass is going to live up more so to its name than I actually thought it was. There will be hella flashbacks, interludes and all that within this story just to make it interesting enough for me to want to continue it.

            Cosmos smiled as she sat silently behind the prince of Greenwood, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as Lómáldor and his mounts sprinted through the smoky fog that nested softly beneath the majestic trees of Greenwood the Great. Resting her head against the back of her elven riding partner she closed her eyes, having nearly fainted at the pain she felt ripple through her body as her children entered a war that she could never interfere with. She could faintly make out the words being whispered between Thranduil and Lómáldor, feeling the comforting vibration against Thranduil's back as he spoke with his comrade.

            In what seemed like near minutes to the lone star queen, grey slabs of rock began to appear in the distances, hidden within the safety of rocky mountain slopes. Magick seemed to ripple around the surrounding area as they approached the mountainous area, the sounds of rushing water made their way to Cosmos's ears as she sat behind Thranduil on a chestnut coloured stallion. Looking around her she gazed into trees that surrounded them, she spotted what looked to be watch platforms nestled amongst the branches. The wooden boards were protected well within the foliage of the trees and Cosmos's was certain had it not been for her strengthened eye sight she would have never spotted those grey flats.

            "Welcome to the stronghold of Greenwood, Lady Cosmos." Thranduil spoke softly as he began to slow the horse he rode upon down to a walk. Cosmos glanced around as she loosened her hold on Thranduil's waist, her silver eyes taking in the wild trees that helped cover the entry way to what seemed to be the home of Thranduil and Lómáldor. Green leaves brushes with the smallest amount of gold glimmered in what sunlight could break through the canopy. The faintest roar of a river could be heard along side a chorus of songbirds and singing. Voices hummed overhead, as Cosmos was helped off the horse's back by Thranduil, curious voices though she could not make out the words she was reminded of the chatter of squirrels. Smiling to her self at the thought of calling elves very noble and graceful creatures squirrels, one of the more talkative and thieving creatures in the world.

            Taking Thranduil's arm she glanced around the world she had appeared in, in pure wonder, she knew that her sailor outfit made her stand out within what she perceived by the prince and his comrade to be a very classic style of dress. Glancing up at the large stone bolder that sat before them she glanced at Thranduil before watching in surprise as the same bolder that would have taken many men to push aside with nothing more than a simple command from the prince beside her.

            Cosmos gazed around as she followed along side Thranduil as he led her down a maze of stone hallways decorated with rich tapestries and paintings. Torches lit the way as the gentle firelight flickered and swayed, as they walked past, washing the passages in a warm golden light. Glancing into the hallways they moved past, Cosmos could se no other soul within the castle halls. Taking in a deep breath she smiled softly to herself as she turned away from darkened hallways lit with sparely placed torchlight.

            "Where are you from Lady?" Thranduil asked as he turned down another passage way. Cosmos gazed at him before turning to stare at her palm, pale starlight kissed skin sparkled with silver and opal.

            "A place far from here." She admitted before reaching to grasp her nearly snow white hair. Shaking her head she turned to stare at the stonewalls surrounding her, not wanting to think back to the time when she had lightly tanned skin and golden blonde hair, but those years were far in the past, years forgotten to all but her.

            "Come my father will wish to speak with you. Yet I believe you would be better off changing before you do so, your clothes would silence the elders." Thranduil smiled at the frowning woman beside him, he could feel her hitched breath as she nodded in agreement. It had been many years since she had worn something other than her soldier uniform. Almost thirty years had past since she had worn clothes other than her royal garb. Letting her mind wonder as Thranduil continued to lead her down passage after passage she thought back to the last time she had ever been on a planet for pleasure more so than for duty.

            She had wanted a break from the darkness that enclosed her after release Chaos back into the hearts of the people, letting the small parts fly to other worlds, dimensions and times. She had wanted a break from the restlessness that living in her star castle had never before given her. Standing over the crystal ledge that led to the very heart of the cauldron she had gazed into what could only be described as white fire, though there was no heat from the swirling mass the light moved much like a fire would. Welcoming new stars, letting ready stars leave to go into another being, and those small amount of stars that did not pass the power of the cauldron were lifted into the black crystal multi pointed star to be cleansed of their sins and either welcomed back into the cauldron to continue life or sent to one of the other levels of life for eternal rest or eternal punishment, she had never seen one get sent to the still where they were not able to enter either of the three eternities.

            She had left soon after than no longer wanting to watch the judgment be passed on a large incoming of stars which had been killed due to the explosion of their planet, Cosmos was not one to interfere with Harmony though she would dance dangerously close to destroying everything that Fate and Destiny tried to forbade her from doing, except when Chance stepped in and gave the penny to Cosmos to decide the fate of a world due to her interferences. The world she had left to was one riddled with a power than not even Cosmos herself could or would even try to master, she saw no need to try and master the magick of that world when she had her own elemental magick to worry over and control.

She had fallen in love, meeting a man that she would soon marry and eight years later bare him a child of an uncertain destiny. Not even with all the powers she possessed over time and space she did not know what the outcome to her child's life would be. There must have been a crossroads in his life that he himself would have to decide which road he would take, she could have only hoped that the road he did take was the smarter road. Only she had not watched him grow, to protect him and herself she had hidden him away. Protected within the arms of another woman who could watch over him while she herself left to battle the horrors of the universe.

Taking in a well-needed breath Cosmos glanced back over at the elven prince beside her as he led her into the room of a seamstress. Her silver eyes took in the room as she the raven-haired woman began to take her measurements so she could make adjustments to a dress she had made a few days ago. When her eyes landed on the dress she closed her eyes, it was a chestnut coloured brown over a royal purple layer, there were three silver leaves growing from the bottom of the dress hem, the looked as though with just the right care they would cover the dress in silver leaves and vines. The sleeves were tight and made a V shape at her wrists. Glaring at the wall she sighed wondering what trouble she was going to get herself into on this world.

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I graduate in less then a week, dammit. I've got finals to study for and my cat almost died today because of some allergic reaction to his yearly shots. I don't know when I'll be able to update.

Thank you **Callisto Star, Jess S1, blue4dogs, Dark Cosmos**, and **Dakki **for reviewing the last chapter. All I can say is that maybe I will continue, maybe I won't.

Review, Thank you, and Goodnight :

♥ SilverRose82 ♥


	4. Interlude : Astari

**Looking Glass**

**Chapter 4, Interlude : Astari**

**By** : SilverRose82

My Interludes always have no dialogue in them. You have been warned.

**Callisto Star** : Someone who wanted to scare little children is who would draw elves that way. But then again, look at the elven creatures of that time, elves a lot of the times were depicted as creatures that scared children.  
**2lazy2signin   
****darkness   
****koldy**

* * *

In the universe, there are many different sources of power, and Sailor Cosmos while holding one of the universes most powerful forms that of elemental planet power, Cosmos knew that even her power was not the strongest. There were even powers that she could not grasp and work to assist her, for even she was not all-powerful and there were limits to even the powers that one being could hold. She was content with that knowledge, becoming overly powerful was not something she wanted, because absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The current galaxy Cosmos had entered contained one of the same powers she was familiar with but would never be able to use. The magick that hummed on this planet was elemental, but the casters who used it were normal civilians and not magical people. The world was strange to her, that governments would allow their people to gain some very powerful magick spells when they could turn on their brethren. She could feel it in the air, it was damp, cave like, under toning a dangerous situation that would soon rise, the darkness that surrounded the planet, was faint but the hum was almost deafening to those who knew what to listen for.

Gaia was extremely similar to Earth, yet here monsters seemed to roam freely on each continent killed by those who dared to take up the challenge. Monsters that on Earth were the nightmares that children created in their dreams when Helios slept, stories that were created while sitting around a campfire, watching an old fashion horror movie, they were the monsters that lived under children's beds and closets.

Cosmos had spent many days combing through the libraries around the world trying to learn as much as she could about the history of Gaia. She had to smile at the thought of studying from books, it had been many years since her childhood when the only book she would ever think of picking up was a manga. But there had been some information that even the planet could not tell her when her feet had settled down on the green grass of the park for the first time in many years. It had been somewhat easy to blend into the community with a simple glance at the people walking past her she had adopted their comfortable style of dress. The people she met accepted her accent, which still had the strong twang of nobility from her years of reign as the pretty Neo-Queen Serenity of Crystal Tokyo.

----

She had not been looking for romance, just a break from the infernal darkness that threatened to cave in on her if she took one wrong step. But romance always had a way of finding her and Cosmos, having taken the name Astari, had run into a tall ebony haired man with clear emerald coloured eyes that shone with a pride so strong it should have been his downfall. Yet his pride seemed to keep him afloat, he never did anything half heartedly everything was take all or lose all and never settle for anything less.

His name had been Sebastian Almasy; he was a wealthy man, yet a man of honor and long dead chivalry, the heir to his father's company well known in creating advanced technology Esthar was known for, the company that would later on create the cyborg army units that terrorized Galbadian soldier and were used by Adel. He had pursued her company for many months; she could almost give him stalker status yet he never went so far as to scare her, silken lilies were left on her desk at work, Sebastian had almost completely humbled himself to her before she even agreed to allowed herself to grace him with her company. Sebastian had showered her with honesty and trust, and asked for none in return as long as she would grace him with a sweet smile or a soft kiss, Astari knew she could have never taken him any other way. Astari had already told him, almost on their first date, that she was not a woman to be showered with materialistic things, chocolates only every once in a while and flowers were fine as long as they were never roses. She never explained farther and she knew Sebastian never needed her to explain her dislike for the flower every soul pinned as the flower of love and romance.

Sebastian had risen to the challenge of giving her the gifts that came as close to those she did not want but never crossed the invisible boundary lines she had set up. He made her laugh, made her cold icy heart feel, her dark eyes once again could see colour, Cosmos had been Queen of Earth by marriage, Queen of the Moon by birthright, and she was the Queen of the Stars by divine right. Nonetheless, Sebastian always made her feel as though she was the Queen of his world, as foolish a thought it was, his attention never wavered from her, he never pushed her limits and always knew the right things to say to lift her darkened spirits. When several months had past Sebastian had requested her hand in marriage, in the same park they had first met amongst the golden leaves of fall, Astari could say nothing more than a breathless yes.

Over the years Sebastian and Astari had traveled, from city to city, country-to-country, they were looking without truly looking, hunting for the unknown prey. Astari was comforted with Sebastian's presence and required nothing more than waking up beside him each and every day, living for the moment, living for what that day would bring. It was in Esthar, Sebastian's home country, some seven years later, that they had finally called their search officially over, together they worked to make their new house a home. The crystal city that was home to the dark power was now covering the world of Gaia in a velvety blanket, smothering all possible light that tried to break through its veil. Everyday Sebastian went to work as an envoy to the Sorceress Adel, not wanting to take his father's position as CEO. Astari only shook her head at her husband's work, yet there was nothing that she could do for telling him of the dangers Adel would bring forth in the coming year could in danger her and her unborn child.

Sebastian always told her that he would break from his work when their child was born, she believed him, she knew in her heart that he would, but Adel wanted power and the desire for world power waited for no man. Astari was left behind nearly ready to give birth to their child when Sebastian joined the resistance army to try and bring the raging Sorceress down. Knowing that Adel would bring forth terror and destruction creating the havoc and unrest, she needed to gain world dominance, while most of Esthar's soldiers fought against the Galbadian Army some hoped to bring the Sorceress down. Astari wished nothing more than to flee from Esthar, yet with the possibility of being shot down by an Estharian soldier or cyborg and losing her child kept her within city limits.

Months into the war she was gifted with a son, a wheat haired blonde with Sebastian's same shocking emerald eyes. Naming him Seifer had been the only request Sebastian had left her with before he left to join the resistance movement, she never understood why. Seifer even as a newborn had been a handful, never wanting to be far from his mother. Astari never cared that she had to carry her little boy everywhere, she was still surprised that she had given birth to a boy. As a Lunarian the heir was always a girl and Lunarian royalty only gave birth to girls, as was stated by the Goddess Selene when she gifted her heirs with the Imperial Crystal. Her little curious, emerald-eyed boy was the wonder of her world. Not having any contact with Sebastian since Adel had turned her sights to Galbadia and Dollet she was nearly cut off from the world, never wanting to watch the television and listen to the horrors Adel created the horrors she could see right outside her door. The unwritten law that had settled in among the citizens of Esthar was that leaving one's house after six o'clock was suicide as Adel's minions began to roam the streets always looking.

When Seifer was eighteen months old Astari had gotten a letter stating that her husband was missing in action, presumed dead, getting her hopes up would only lead to more heartache should he not be found. The pristine white letter had been unmarked aside from the golden Celtic drawn sun crest on the right top corner that would later become Esthar's new national emblem. It was a letter that aside from some simple name changes was identical for every mother, wife, or sister who had the honor of receiving it. Astari didn't know what she would now do with her life and with Seifer, the war was still raging though it appeared that the resistance factor was winning thanks to Laguna Loire, yet knowing that Sebastian was lost to her haunted her dreams for the first few nights. She had been widowed only once before in her life and that was when she first became Sailor Cosmos, but there had been no love lost, she had continued her hunt for Chaos and followed the dark entity over the universe wanting to take revenge for the lives that Chaos and its minions had slaughtered. She had spent nights after the letter had come into her possession in Seifer's blue and green bedroom gazing at her child, letting her mind pass over every second, every memory she had of Sebastian that Seifer would never have, of the world she had hoped to call home for many years to come, of Seifer's innocent curiosity.

Seifer's eyes, even at a young age, blazed with his father's pride and dare she to hope her courage to take the right path even if it was the one every other soul was against. She did not know, she could never see into his future, she could not even see into the future of Gaia, the mirrors were clouded over with a thick grey fog. Maybe it was better that way, the not knowing, as Cosmos, she had always been comforted with the fact that she knew, if not every outcome, at least a possible outcome was better than not knowing. With the time spent on Gaia, watching Seifer grow, the time she spent with Sebastian, knowing the future didn't really matter to her anymore, she was living for the day, living to see the next thing Seifer would do to cause havoc.

By Seifer's second birthday Astari could no longer stay in Esthar, knowing that even with the Sorceress gone, the country had disappeared from the world and fallen into silence. Her husband was dead and he was not going to be waltzing back into the foyer back into her and Seifer's life, she had to move on for Seifer's sake and living in Esthar was only going to resurface memories she didn't think she could live with. She had packed only the minimum, not needing anything more than some clothes and personal items she could not bare to part with, a photo album, some random articles of clothes that Sebastian always wore, a necklace of a cruciform sword. Seifer's baby blanket was packed; among all his other toys it was the only thing that Sebastian had picked out and Seifer would pitch a fit that rivaled the same fits she use to pull when she was younger if it was misplaced. The soft cream coloured fabric was frayed around the edges from getting haul everywhere should it be the kitchen or the playground, but it was loved though Astari was not certain about how much longer the blanket would last.

Leaving the crystal city had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, it was where her good memories rested, she loved Esthar's capital for the memories of a similar city that she had helped to create, a city where the people loved one another and hatred was something of the past, until the Dark Moon. She remembered the love that she never lost a love she had never gained back since she and the scouts had been reborn to the time when they were needed, the white haired prince and his younger brother the ones she wished to help, no matter that they were the ones that had tried to kill her.

----

Fate and Destiny even though they never had to carry the complete weight of the Cosmos, still took charge of caring for the lives of which they governed. Both never cared much for the silver soldier that was no longer in their grasps to control, so to get Cosmos's to do at they pleased they pulled at the strings of those she cared about the most. They had been unable to break her spirit when Sebastian's thread had been cut short but there was one other thread they could pull and pull it they did. Seifer's fate now rested on his mother's chosen action, she could leave and let him live or stay with the unknown destiny of when the black thread would appear on Seifer's soul. While she could fight Fate and Destiny on nearly every decision they dictated over her life she knew she would loose when the third sister appeared. Chance was the last of the three sisters, the only sister that aside from Harmony could harm her if not physically then mentally and spiritually. Cosmos had refused to leave wanting to stay with Seifer, give him a proper childhood, Chance had intervened and held the proverbial copper penny over Cosmos's head, demanding her to decide the fate of the world should she stay.

Another trip was made to Esthar under the cover of the stars, Seifer staying in the care of the guardian Chance, money was locked away until Seifer could come to claim it, items of special meaning locked into a bank safe. She had thanked the aging salt and pepper haired man who had helped her accomplish her tasks, he promised that nothing would become of the money or the safe until the time came. She knew he would keep his word and with a small smile, she had left the chrome and glass bank and wondered the streets of Esthar before leaving to her home in Winhill.

Chance, who had agreed under Cosmos's threats, stayed to watch Seifer and had been there to greet Cosmos at the door to her small two bedroom house with a scold before the copper haired fairy vanished with in a wave of gold and orange dust. Cosmos's was not sure about what she should now do having previously shoved the penny back into Chance's grasp, not wanting to toss the devil coin into the air. She had cemented her fate there were no other options left she would have to leave, Astari Almasy would die so Seifer Almasy and the world she had come to love would stay on the given course set by Fate. She had been given five days, five days to decide what to do or the penny Chance had set on the knife blade would tip and whichever way it fell would decree out Chance's Oath.

Seifer was three when Cosmos brought him to the shores of Centra, she had kept a bright smile as she lifted her child onto the boat, as they neared the shores she could see other children run across the beach. Even though her heart was beginning to fill with dread, this would be the last time that she ever saw her child, the last time that she would ever be able to hold him, protect him. All that was being given up to the woman who she would turn custody over to, the woman who was standing on the boat dock waiting for the newest member of her orphanage. Seifer had been wide eyed in excitement at the prospect of riding in a boat and had questioned the boat captain with every inch of his life. Yet the old man only smiled and patiently answered each question to the best of his ability, having many children and grandchildren of his own he had a great deal of practice. When the boat was docked and its cargo unloaded, Seifer hadn't wanted to part from his mother's side, unsure of the others around him. With a great deal of persuasion he was off watching the other children play, his green eyes always seemed to follow the small chubby little blonde haired two-year-old who was running after the others trying to keep up. A familiar child like smirk graced his lips as he watched them from his perch on a small outcropping of rocks.

Papers were signed quickly, the boat master was told to wait at a dock on the other side of the island so Cosmos could leave without the detection of her son, without more unnecessary heartbreak. A large white envelope was handed to Edea with Seifer's name written on it in Cosmos's ornate script, the black haired woman nodded as she tucked the envelope in Seifer's file to be given to him on his eighteenth birthday. With another short conversation, one last glance in Seifer's direction, Cosmos and Edea were making their way down a different path one that wouldn't lead them past the children. Cosmos could hear the excited whispers of the other children, even with them on the other side of the island; their voices were strong with curiosity, all curious about the boy who had come with blonde woman whom he had called his mother, even at the tender age of two they knew the power of emotion that word held. She had stood on the boat looking back at the island, when the boat curved around to head back towards the Galbadian coast she could see the children trying to invite Seifer to play with them. She could no longer hear the whispers or hear Seifer's answer to the request but by the looks of it, he had turned the offer down, if the little blonde boy's reaction told her anything.

Turning to gaze at the boat captain, she smiled at the white haired man behind the wheel, his lavender eyes glowed as he looked back at his queen. Nothing he could do for his Queen would lessen her pain, but he could continue to stand beside her as he had done in the past and would do so for the remaining years to come. Cosmos turned away once the island was nothing more then a speck on the horizon, her wheat coloured hair changed back to the snowy white it had always been and her black turtleneck shirt and taupe coloured suede pants were replaced by the second skin of her sailor uniform. Helios began to hum to himself before the melody surrounded the two of them.

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
__I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
__You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore_

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
__I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
__There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
__And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
__'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
__And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
__'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
__You've gone away  
__You don't feel me here anymore_

There was silence before Cosmos gazed up into the evening sky and watched as the moon cast a hazy glow onto the boat. The black water gently lapped at the sides was both enticing and deadly; Helios who had appeared beside his Queen's side gave her an encouraging smile before helping her stand. Weaving her way through the boat, Cosmos made it to the starboard side, leaning over the edge of the boat she smiled brightly before climbing onto the edge, turning back to Helios she smiled before jumping overboard and disappearing under the black waves. Helios only smiled before he too jumped overboard, leaving the small cruiser boat to float on the ocean's current until the winds decided they no longer wanted to play with her or someone found the abandoned boat and wondered what had become of her crew.

* * *

**Song **: Broken by Seether Featuring Amy Lee

I spend maybe two weeks on this chapter and most of the time was spent editing, because I'm a perfectionist and the 8.8 reader level bothered me, especially when most of my dialogue-less stories/papers are always 12.0. It's all 12.0 reader level now, so I'm happy with it.

Review, Thank you, and Goodnight :  
SilverRose82


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